Over at hbr.org I saw a list of top reads for young leaders. On that list was the book of meditations by the Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius (161-180 C.E.). Although I’m not young, I immediately went to Gutenberg.org to download a copy. I haven’t progressed very far yet, but came across a very early example of reframing.
Aurelius lists what he has learned from friends and family. What he learned from Alexander the grammarian is awfully close to what mediators call “reframing”:
… to refrain from fault-finding, and not in a reproachful way to chide those who uttered any barbarous or solecistic [speaking incorrectly] or strange-sounding expression; but dexterously to introduce the very expression which ought to have been used, and in the way of answer or giving confirmation, or joining in an inquiry about the thing itself, not about the word, or by some other fit suggestion.
This quote has been interpreted as a guideline for being polite in conversation. However, it also captures what mediators do consistently in assisting parties in having a dialogue about disputes.
So was Alexander the grammarian the first interest-based mediator?
